Fast and Furious, the best and the worst

It's tempting to lump all the Fast and Furious movies into one clutch change that will pop the same Paul Walker mannerisms and Vin Diesel's masculine action flicks.

All the drag racing, jaw-dropping stunt collisions, and drug boss encounters tend to blend together after a while.

But make no mistake, my friends, these movies are do or die: There are differences between the six movies in this lucrative franchise. Like Pauline Kael, who no doubt would have said so if she'd lived to see Dominic Toretto speeding through Rio with a bank vault attached to the bumper of his Dodge Charge. The Fast and Furious movies can be uniformly pointless, but some even more so than others.

With the sixth installment in the series, this will be an attempt to rank the movies - yes, including the new one - from best to worst, based on important criteria like ridiculous plot (a higher score is generally better in this one's case). franchise) and the level of porn car in each of its cars.

Also Known As: Kind of like Big Scam, if the rock had been in the Big Scam he would have been acting like a butt kicker for the FBI.

The Basics: Nearly all of the semi-main characters from every previous Fast movie come together to swindle millions of dollars from a ruthless crime lord, making everyone on the team permanently rich. Naturally, FBI agent Lucas Hobbs agrees to help.

Ridiculous Plots: 90. Dom walks around unscathed looking fierce after the prison bus crash and - just because he's good for rock and Elena, his hot partner - convinces the police not to arrest them, so they can all be rich We're not saying that none of this could happen, but… oh wait. Actually, we are saying that.

Insane action: 90. The bus crash, the car-robbery sequence on a train, the gratuitous and unnecessary police car race: But that bank vault - in which the steel box attached to Dom's forehead pulverizes the pavement, police cars and local benches - it's enough to make an amateur car-chase stand up and clap slowly.

Car porn rating: This movie contained the largest number of car models (107) of all the movies, with the caveat that this major website hasn't yet calculated the number of vehicles in Fast 6. But, of course, volume isn't everything. And some of the cars that manage to make cameo appearances (a Toyota Yaris, a Passat wagon) aren't exactly, uh, sexy.

Diesel fuel, that is, the degree to which Vin Diesel contributes to the quality of the film: 65. As the leader of Toretto's team, his character is central to everything that happens. Also, he seems to be a bit funnier than he did in the first Fast and Furious. However, what really makes this film is the fact that it is an ensemble piece.